5.8.09

The Pain Cave

Much was made of the so called Pain Cave by network commentators during the Tour de France. Located at the corner of Agony Avenue and Spasm Street in the World of Hurt, the Pain Cave is open to all visitors 24/7. It is definitely not the exclusive domain of professional cyclists although a few industrious pros have installed some decidedly uncomfortable seating there.
The origin of the Pain Cave can be traced back to Australopithicus, that monkey-man you sometimes see at the mall. Historians guess with uncertainty that Australopithicus probably spent most of his or her days in the Pain Cave.
Fast forward to the modern era and we find that cyclists visit the Pain Cave regularly; often after extreme effort on difficult mountain stages. We can surmise from this example of Jan's anguished face and fetching headgear that he has entered the World of Hurt and is looking for the entrance to the Pain Cave.
It is generally agreed that no one spent more time in the Pain Cave both on and off the bike than Marco Pantani. He finally escaped on February 14, 2004.
Team Vitesse drops in to the Pain Cave regularly just to get in touch with their inner cramps, cricks, distress, stabbing soreness, torment, torture and throbbing. Short visits are highly recommended by Johan and Ignats Konovalovas, a giant among cyclists, who got paid a pile of money to say, "When you want more pain you are good".