Lampo Bianco has joyfully increased his carbon footprint by flying to San Francisco with Hat Model. His mission is to secure more sponsorship for Team Vitesse and do a little sightseeing on the way.
h20 underwent minor surgery for a problem with his middle finger. Overuse in the upright position during races made it impossible for him to make a fist. The surgery has been judged a success as he is now back to punching riders from other teams.
K2nees has been gainfully employed and continues to drool over titanium. He also continues to take a hard look at elk in the wild.
Pucky now rides above the head badge, master of all he surveys.Inspired by Johan, The Steaming Madman, LB and h20 wanted to make up for omitting the Single Speed World Championships from their racing calendar. They also knew that this would be their last tune up before travelling to Switzerland for the UCI world road championships. With Lampo as point man, the duo smoked over the dry rooted trail at warp speed. Joyous was the mood and as heart rates became elevated, the rapture set in.Pausing for some liquid refreshments, h20 liberated a pair of brewskis from their bubble wrap protection. To that point, the Surly chain tensioner had never been properly tested. Success was just a bottle cap away. Fully refreshed the duo suddenly found themselves in darkness after the sun dropped out of the sky.
The riders now feel fully prepared for the world road championships and look forward to being able to purchase their plane tickets very soon. Apparently Johan was in charge of transport procurement but once again squandered the funds on wine, women and song. Donations are now being accepted for the "Let's Get Team Vitesse to Switzerland" fund.
Disappointment rippled through the team after it was learned that they had missed their chance to dominate at the Single Speed Championships in Durango, Colorado. No one was more upset than Johan who had vowed to make this event the party highlight of his year. Now the team must find ways to propitiate the great man to avoid the rescission of his services.
The individualistic missing magic charm was the subject of a massive mojo manhunt. It was finally discovered after apparently having gone through the laundry. At its original 4 foot height, the MOJO might have been a liability when strapped to the frame of a bicycle. PE5GW must have been aware of this when she included it in the wash. Now its actual size will not affect the high performance of LB on his Monkey.Pucky the Mouse Beaver was known for his bravery and ability to be invisible and be in 2 places at the same time. We wish Lampo Bianco and Pucky the Mouse Beaver future success and safe riding.
h20 now must locate the delicately wondrous item which was carefully placed somewhere in the man cave.
Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has developed a new line of clothing specially designed to address the stress and duress of dress. Based on its successful Super Absorbent Rain Cape, new micro ply-fiber actually wicks moisture in. Nonexistent durability coupled with extreme discomfort means only one thing: you are wearing the best that HL88 has to offer.
h20, S&M and that day's protected rider, Lampo Bianco, set a furious pace for the opening 500 meters. Massive crowds greeted them along the route. As they crested a catagory 1 col, the sound and smell of the clamorous fans grew to a fever pitch and odor. h20 was setting an infernal tempo at the front. One fan ran out seeking an autograph from LB. It was then that the much maligned Team Vitesse teamwork came to the fore.
Known for their incessant internal attacks, Team Vitesse has received undue criticism for being individuals on a team looking after their own interests. "I acted on instinct!" said h20 in television interviews later. Review of the race footage clearly shows the course of events.
As the fan was about to reach LB and hinder his forward progress, h20 sacrificed his body, GC placement and his bicycle to block the fan and protect LB. h20 found himself down on the tarmac with extreme road rash, a deep muscle bruise on the upper thigh, torn ligaments, arthritis, liver damage and most importantly, a damaged front brake lever. S&M quickly dismounted to assist his fallen comrade while LB put in a few choice punches and words into the seething crowd. Team Vitesse riders were far ahead of the support vehicles so any reparations were up to the quick thinking trio. Shaken but unstirred after the shock of the fall, h20 quickly mounted and, true to Team Vitesse form, quickly got a gap on his fellow team mates.
The ride continued without incident but K2 was never seen again that day. It has come to light that his valiant attempts to catch the splintered Vitesse peleton resulted in a coughed up lung.
Lampo Bianco won the day with the strong finishing Senor Merlini leading LB out to the final climb. h20 suffered immensely but managed a credible third. Despite his serious injuries, he defended his downhill sprint jersey with aplomb. The offending fan remains in hospital with a genuine LB signature on his body cast.
Paliopy: the beautiful awesome beauty of Team Vitesse riders in their "chick magnet" formation replete with coordinated outfits. Similar to panoply except without the special formation.
Loserization: the noun form of the verb "loserize". To be dropped from the "chick magnet" formation due to an uncoordinated outfit.
Team members spend hours coordinating their attire in order to provide a cohesive "look" to the thousands of fans who line the route. Favoured methods of coordination between riders include the telephone, faxing, and the hyper modern email.
There is a lot more to kit coordination than meets the eye. Team Vitesse takes the challenge of dress very seriously. The result is a wonderful panoply of colour that all fans can enjoy.
Let's not forget Johan's edict, "When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, the sensations are good. When the sensations are good, it is time to go to the pain cave." Of course everyone wants to look good in the pain cave.
h20 suffered a blow out yesterday on his way for a coiffure. It has been posited that the inner tube exploded due to a small burr on the inside of the rim. h20 foolishly left the HL88 tool kit at the Cosmodrome and was stranded. Fortunately PE5GW commandeered a support vehicle to ensure that h20 did not miss his appointment. No injuries resulting from the blow out were reported and at this writing, the offending rim has been sanded with a 3M pad on the advice of Team Vitesse's metallurgist, PE5GW.
A case in point is the impossibly light-weight Well Flourishing Ankle Bolstering. If HL88 deigned to unleash the finely engineered Well-FAB on the market, it would most certainly turn the orthotics world on its head. However, it chooses not to because its first priority is supporting Team Vitesse cycling. The Manufactory continues to touch base with individual team members for input in order to fill their needs at any point in time. "Global marketing, as lucrative as it is likely to be, would be like a day without sunshine." spake a Manufactory representative. Let us never forget that Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has committed itself to ensuring that all products it produces are unsurpassed in discomfort.
Made from the same plywood as the Super Absorbent Rain Cape and weighing an incredibly light 1.2 kilograms, the Well-FAB is meant to fit snugly inside an over sized cycling shoe for maximum protection and shock absorbency. Armed (ankled in this case) with the Well-FAB, K2nees is sure to kick some butt while raising the profile of Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory. HL88 advises wearing the Well-FAB on each ankle for improved balance.