HL88's Millenium Motto

Another major rebranding and philosophy shift has occurred at Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory. After ignoring input from focus groups around the globe, applying Johan's pointless insolence, and rejecting the pleas of stakeholders, HL88 has chosen a definitive motto indicative of its world dominance in cycling product production.

"Creating problems for existing solutions"

shall be the maxim for the beloved sponsor of Team Vitesse. Seizing on and then convoluting one of Lampo Bianco's few coherent quotes, Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory immediately adopted this new adage. In its press release, HL88 management announced, "We are now the sharpest button in the drawer. HL88 will continue to rain on everyone's balloon."


Lung Capacity - Increasing Amplitude

Regular followers of this blog may remember the entry entitled "Increasing Lung Capacity the Lampo Way". Lampo has experienced improved levels of dizziness and has extended his coughing bouts after exercise - both signs of increased lung capacity. The key to his success lies in alternating between fags and stogies. When asked if there were any negative side effects, Lampo quipped "I am finding that my skin is dry." Leaping to his assistance the lab at Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has developed "High Droll Eye Zing" cream. The vigour and brawn of this concoction requires that users derisk its shear power by mixing it with equal parts lard and wax for use in Jacuzzi tubs. Murmured Lampo through his putty coloured mask of ooze, "I love HL88 products! They create problems for solutions they already have."


Viva Velo Vitality

As is common during the winter season in Canada, the sport of cycling goes into hibernation. This year has been no exception with greater than usual snowfall and a commensurate plunge into the freezer. The effects on our sport are tangible during these frigid and 7 hour days, and the spirits of even the truest of champions can take a beating. So was this true for the renowned and celebrated victors of Happiness, the captains of perseverance, producers of velo-vitality....Happy Lucky 88 and it's media medium Team Vitesse.

Fans of the fabled team have had to endure the vacancy sign at the Hotel Happy, praying for any morsel of inspiration from its leaders. But now it can be announced that the ice is beginning to thaw, the rooms are clean and the beds turned down, as new life springs onto the cosmodromic blogosphere over the past few days. In fact, spokespeople for the people from the people's republic of HL88 indicate that the new Blog masthead invoke the World Championship rainbow colours. They do indeed. A symbolist might suggest that the image implies Olympic dreams as well. Shasta Shazaam! Either way, hope (and other stuff) floats, and sweat springs eternal....Vitesse and HL88 are ALIVE!


The Perils of Carbon Fiber

The current trend in bicycles and componentry has embraced carbon fiber as the saviour of cycling. Many hurtful and derogatory comments have been made about Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory's dogged determination and insistence on using plywood as its main construction material for its vast range of cycling products. It is an established fact that HL88 developed the current carbon fiber monocoque techniques 4 decades ago when the Manufactory was satisfying the world's insatiable demand for seat cushions. At that time management wisely decided to abandon carbon fiber construction, judging it to be too light and therfore too nebulous for use in cycling products.
HL88's semi-esoteric molecular release of their original carbon/plywood chain shows how the Manufactory was able to eliminate the weight constraints of carbon and capitalize on plywood momentum; momentum that continues to propel Team Vitesse to victory.


Sneak Peek at HL88's HYPER-CYCLE

Innovative breakthroughs in cycling Check Spellingare as common as abandoned u-locks in western style conurbations. Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory has emerged from a long period of quietude to reveal select proprietary components of its new "Superior HYPER-CYCLE Ion Transit Equation" or SHITE. Shown below is a rear disc wheel with equationary spoke calculations integrated into the wheel structure.

You can no doubt appreciate how Team Vitesse cycling success will hinge on the aggregation of marginal gains thanks to the enigmatic and incomprehensible HYPER-CYCLE. All details pertaining to recovery and performance will be constantly examined, corrected and optimised by HL88 to ensure riders have the greatest possible chance of victory. A fully tricked out HYPER-CYCLE will reduce hypermyotonia through refinement of the nervous system.

The front disc wheel promotes well being and contentment to all who will watch it spin by. This could be the most exciting and potent strategy for improving Team Vitesse performance in a very short space of time.


Become a "Friend of Team Vitesse"

As we can all appreciate, it costs money to run a professional cycling team. Team Vitesse is no exception as it strives to coddle riders on all 8 continents. h20 recently performed his fiduciary duty for the team and found that expected savings on core delivery against the counterfactual inflationary increase has caused reprioritisation to fund a wider range of investment baselines. This will ensure the long-term sustainability of equality and diversity into core objectives. Of course certain obfuscation elements were eliminated from his final report.
The take away from this misleading and vague report has spawned a new fund raising initiative to maintain the lifestyles of Team Vitesse and Johan to which they have become accustomed.
Now you can become a "Freind of Team Vitesse". Donators of considerable size will receive superlative discounts from team sponsor Happy Lucky 88 Manufactory. Contributors of stupendous bigness can anticipate short sojourns from the greatest stars of Team Vitesse both past and present. Lampo Bianco has graciously offered to make himself at home with you for months on end if the end result allows the management system to become embedded within a sustainable business process, allowing for risks to be escalated up and down the organisation as necessary.