9.8.10

A Base of Tranquility or Dread

In most press interviews with cycling speakers of the romance languages (I refer to Italian and Spanish - Basso and Contador respectively) always refer to "good sensations" and a feeling of "tranquility". French riders are seldom interviewed, presumably due to their consistently poor performances filled with "bad sensations" and a feeling of "dread".
Ivan and Alberto say they are feeling tranquil. This must be a poor translation of the sense of foreboding and shear panic that fills the pro peleton whenever Team Vitesse is included.
With Within Power the Vitesse seems to be unstoppable this season. Many wonder what lies beneath the genuine serenity of the stars of Team Vitesse - Lampo Bianco, Dr. K2, Night Train and h2o. In a rare period of lucidness, Johan has decided to open his "sanguine satchel" to reveal one of the secrets to the team's success. Uncorking an ancient looking flask with the label, "Calm Balm", a stench of effluvial offal assaults the senses. "Rubbing this on the thighs and calves gives our riders a true sense of tranquility which beautifully compliments our patented Within Power. The rest of the peleton is left stoking their "furnaces of fear" and unpacking their collection of cramps" drooled Johan. The results speak for themselves. Johan has one of the best pro cycling teams ever assembled. The question is not "What would Johan do" but "What won't Johan do"...

No comments: